Page Number In A Text Box?

I realize there is probably a simple solution, but I simply can't find it. Maybe I'm not using the right terminology to search. Here's what I need to do. I need to have a named field text box that shows the current page number. I also need to know how to get the page number to show as the +1 code (not page 0 to start). Once I have that, then I need to have another field that takes that page field and multiplies it by 5. (i.e "footage" = "pNum" * 5). Once I get this set up, then I need to spawn this one document out over 1000 pages.

Since I know this will raise questions .... it's for a form known as an "x-sheet" which we use to track read cartoons (track read = phonetically write every sound that is produced at every frame) there are 16 frames per foot and 5 feet per page (hence the multiply page number by 5). I can't use the header/footer route as each show has a differing place that the page number and footage number shows up at.

What am I missing here? Is there a simple javascript that can be entered into a text field calculation to simply show the page number? As you can tell, I'm not an Acrobat programmer, I'm simply trying to move out of the stone age and stop hand writing out a thousand pages of phonetically spelled cartoon lines.

Any help would surely be appreciated!

Randy